Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Zombie Apocalypse is coming...

I learned today that I really have to eat breakfast every morning...or a zombie will eat my brain!

I had that kind of morning, the one you know well where you are running just a tiny bit behind so you run out the door without even a drink of water, thinking, "maybe I will get a coffee on the way."

Then traffic does its "L.A." thing and for no known reason it is backed up in all directions. You are not getting coffee.

Hunger begins so you scrounge in your purse and find a linty, half unwrapped piece of trident and chew it anyway. You hope to subsist on the trident and office coffee until you can run to the cafeteria for a bagel.

BUT, the minute you get into the parking lot, people begin interrogating you about irrelevant nothings that they need to know RIGHT NOW! They don't even offer to carry one of your heavy bags!

It is completely acceptable that you are a little clipped in your responses, your blood sugar is bottomed out and they deserve the flack for being inane anyway. And your bags are really heavy!

Once in your office you make a mad dash to the several coffee urns and find them all empty. You opt for green tea with 20 gallons of sugar. Ahhhhh, that hits the spot...for about 30 minutes.

Soon, you are inundated with more stupid questions and an even more idiotic meeting.

By the time 10 a.m. hits your stomach feels like it is turning inside out, eating itself alive...and you are weak beyond belief. Lunch is an hour away, and it would be stupid to get a snack right now.

BUT, if the zombies came after you at this moment, the event you have been preparing for for years, all the hours of obsessing, training, and planning would be irrelevant.

They would get you, slobber on you, and eat your once mighty brain!

So, again, the lesson I learned today is: BREAKFAST ACTUALLY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY!

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